Anxiety.

Yo!
It's time for the final piece of the Fact:Film:Poem project with George, which I enjoyed very much.

So, like I said before - for my FACT I've chosen anxiety, generally as a term. Sarcastically speaking: the illness of tumblr people. Honestly speaking: a nightmare for those, who suffer from it.
Why?
I've read once a quote from a writer who's name I obviously forgot that you are only able to truly write about what you know, what you experienced - otherwise what you write can't be good, and doesn't sound truthful and authentic.
I learned about anxiety myself in a quite cruel way - one day it's just crawled up to me, squeezed my heart with its cold, wet palms and poisoned my life. I don't know why I decided to make my movie about something as intimate as my mental health. I am a shy motherfucker and I usually can't even freely talk to people I don't know for less than a year, but somewhere in my head the idea of showing the room full of students how I feel when I am in anxiety abyss seemed legit and I did it.


I recorded most of my movie with my stupid iPod, squeezing some of Anton Corbijn's video clip for Strangelove by Depeche Mode between the scenes or on the top of my footage. I recorded myself because it would be a dreadful experience to ask someone to pose for me.
I deleted all of the colours, I made it look grainy and coarse. The quality of iPod's camera is B.A.D., but I pushed the bar with the contrast to its limit, because I wanted to show that it was my conscious choice to make it look rough, not Apple's mistake.
Through my face, my hands, my bad habit of smoking, the lack of light in an empty room, the loneliness and the grim music of Gesaffelstein I tried to make people feel anxious for a bit, just like I do sometimes.
Did I manage it? People went silent after screening. They said it was disturbing. And they felt unease.

So! I have two versions of my movie - the one I showed at the official screening at the end of the project, and the one I made after the feedback I got from George and my lovely fellow students. You can't see the difference until the last 40 seconds of the second version - I just made it longer, as I was said the first one felt too short, unfinished, I got rid of the written information and used some more of the found images.

SO, UNFORTUNATELY BLOGSPOT'S AN ASS AND DOESN'T LET ME POST MY MOVIES.

I'll just provide you with links then - but it's not as cool as just having a player pinned to your post. 

FIRST EDIT

SECOND EDIT

*sigh*

I will therefore throw some screen shots at you: